Wait! They don't love you like I love you.

I went to a job fair today in Boston. So weird. I had one-on-one convo's with a few employers. After today I can definitely see myself teaching next year. It's just hard to make a definite decision. I feel like every option requires me letting another option, person, or opportunity go. 

1. I could teach, in Massachusetts next year. 

PRO's: 

- cash-money ($$$). not the main reason, obv, but definitely a consideration. this means I will have a better chance of paying a) my OUTRAGEOUS student loans, b) potentially buy a car, c) APARTMENT. please.

- staying in the area. still allows me to participate in LIFE TEEN. and see my friends. 

- for extra cash-money ($$$), I can still work @ gap (specifically in wellesley =), inherent pro included)

- more intellectually challenging and fulfilling then gap. 

CON's: 

- Italy would be out of the question.

- less time @ gap (specific con*: less time spent with _) - this is a fairly large con. unfortunately. 

- waking up early.  (pathetic I know, but still legit)

- less time for travel/adventures/enjoying being young

2. remain at gap (wellesley)

PRO's: 

- decent money for what it is

- flexible time to travel, etc

- makes Italy (at least time-wise) feasible

- more time&focus for LIFE TEEN

CON's:

- realistically, not enough cash-money ($$$) (see: no apartment, more arguments with madre&padre, alty's imminent death and no replacement)

- how to explain "I just wanted a year to relax" to future employer(s)

- mind-numbing work (see: gapcards, visual standards, camilla)

3. teach in a different state/area (such as DC)

PRO's: 

- new experience, new people, new area

- cash-money ($$$) and inherent need for an apartment

CON's: 

- have to get multiple state licenses for teaching ($$$&time)

- new place, lack of old place/people (... see adjustment period)

- can I realistically afford this? (apartment and loan payments??) 

- no chance of participating in Stoughton LIFE TEEN (could find different parish? but not the same.)

(^ this is a similar argument for moving out of the country.. only con's are exaggerated so... keep that in consideration)

There are a few things that I just need to decide. And I think that's where my decision comes down to its breaking point.

1. Feelings for/about a certain person. Where is it/are they going? Is it worth remaining static for? (this is big because I'm at a loss for a next step right now) 

2. Do I want to start teaching? Can I teach without freaking out with the "this is what I'm stuck doing for the rest of my life" mentality?

3. Can I handle being away from friends and family? Going somewhere new by myself. I don't even feel like I've fully experienced Boston. I'm not ready to leave it yet. 

Ahhhhh. I don't know what to do. Can I postpone the decision-making process altogether?